Oh Lord God of my salvation, I have cried day and night before thee:
Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry;
For my soul is full of troubles...
…I am as a man that hath no strength:
Free among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, whom thou rememberest no more: and they are cut off from thy hand.
Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps.
Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. Selah.
Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me… I am shut up, and I cannot come forth.
Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: Lord, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee.
Wilt thou shew wonders to the dead? Shall the dead arise and praise thee? Selah.
Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction?
Shall thy wonders be known in the dark? and thy righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?
But unto thee have I cried, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee.
Lord, why castest thou off my soul? why hidest thou thy face from me?
I am afflicted… while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted.
Thy fierce wrath goeth over me; thy terrors have cut me off.
They came round about me daily like water; they compassed me about together.
Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
Reaching out to me from the intense beauty of the Psalms, I found someone had already experienced and eloquently expressed my state of being.
The day I actually read this reading, this Psalm and verse from Proverbs didn’t strike me as hard as they did today… when I went back to write up what I had taken away from that day’s reading.
Today, this reading meant so much more.
I was up very early this morning; up and driving some people to the airport. The drive back from the airport was lonely and very quiet… not much traffic and a gentle rain. What better use for this time than to pray. As I started praying, I was struck by the weariness with which the words left my mouth as I prayed them. Part of me was concerned I didn’t really mean what I was saying, yet I knew the fervency of my heart was true – just didn’t sound that way.
Time passed and with its passing, my prayers became more intense… not in volume of tone or in energy of speech, but in the sheer fervency with which my heart communed with God. Tears flowed down my face as I beseeched Him for solutions, for mercy, for intervention.
Later, as I opened my Bible to catch up on my journaling, I realized that God had taken me to a very special spot… April 19. I realized that not only was this the anniversary of my Grandma’s death, but it also contained a perfect prayer for me within Psalm 88. Combine that with the verse the Lord has given me day by day for about two years now (Proverbs 13:12), and I realized the Lord had heard my cries and my prayers.
It’s not easy waiting and it’s not always easy to have faith and hope… but I know it will be worth it in the end. If I can have a little strength, can keep the faith, and not deny His name, I know I will be able to walk through that door which He has opened; that door no one can shut.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes… oh… what a tree of life!!
Let my prayer come before thee: incline thine ear unto my cry;
For my soul is full of troubles...
…I am as a man that hath no strength:
Free among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, whom thou rememberest no more: and they are cut off from thy hand.
Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps.
Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. Selah.
Thou hast put away mine acquaintance far from me… I am shut up, and I cannot come forth.
Mine eye mourneth by reason of affliction: Lord, I have called daily upon thee, I have stretched out my hands unto thee.
Wilt thou shew wonders to the dead? Shall the dead arise and praise thee? Selah.
Shall thy lovingkindness be declared in the grave? or thy faithfulness in destruction?
Shall thy wonders be known in the dark? and thy righteousness in the land of forgetfulness?
But unto thee have I cried, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer prevent thee.
Lord, why castest thou off my soul? why hidest thou thy face from me?
I am afflicted… while I suffer thy terrors I am distracted.
Thy fierce wrath goeth over me; thy terrors have cut me off.
They came round about me daily like water; they compassed me about together.
Lover and friend hast thou put far from me, and mine acquaintance into darkness.
Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.
Reaching out to me from the intense beauty of the Psalms, I found someone had already experienced and eloquently expressed my state of being.
The day I actually read this reading, this Psalm and verse from Proverbs didn’t strike me as hard as they did today… when I went back to write up what I had taken away from that day’s reading.
Today, this reading meant so much more.
I was up very early this morning; up and driving some people to the airport. The drive back from the airport was lonely and very quiet… not much traffic and a gentle rain. What better use for this time than to pray. As I started praying, I was struck by the weariness with which the words left my mouth as I prayed them. Part of me was concerned I didn’t really mean what I was saying, yet I knew the fervency of my heart was true – just didn’t sound that way.
Time passed and with its passing, my prayers became more intense… not in volume of tone or in energy of speech, but in the sheer fervency with which my heart communed with God. Tears flowed down my face as I beseeched Him for solutions, for mercy, for intervention.
Later, as I opened my Bible to catch up on my journaling, I realized that God had taken me to a very special spot… April 19. I realized that not only was this the anniversary of my Grandma’s death, but it also contained a perfect prayer for me within Psalm 88. Combine that with the verse the Lord has given me day by day for about two years now (Proverbs 13:12), and I realized the Lord had heard my cries and my prayers.
It’s not easy waiting and it’s not always easy to have faith and hope… but I know it will be worth it in the end. If I can have a little strength, can keep the faith, and not deny His name, I know I will be able to walk through that door which He has opened; that door no one can shut.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes… oh… what a tree of life!!
